Straight Goods by Dave Jacox

"Asking teenagers if they’ve ever been bored is like asking Gretzky if he’s ever played hockey."

"THERE’S Nothing TO DO."

Teenagers get bored.  Everybody gets bored now and then, but teens occasionally slip into a really dead-end kind of boredom that eats up precious time and energy like crazy.

There’s a deep dark hole and it leads to nowhere
It’ll spin you around and keep you down
Tie your feet right to the ground

- Los Lobos

Teenagers have all kinds of excuse for being bored.  Here are just a few.  (You’ve probable heard’em before.  Heck, you’ve likely used most of them at least once or twice.)

	There’s nothing to do
	There’s no one to do it with
	There’s no one interesting to do
	There’s no one interesting to do it with

 

And one more:

There’s too much to do, and I can’t decide…

Yawn.

The list goes on but we figure that there’s not much point to it, because our theory is that boredom doesn’t have much to do with the situation you’re in at all. What boredom is all about is the situation you could be in, and whatever it is that is keeping you from it. Which brings us to our second list: the list of thing that can seem to have you trapped in a boring situation, including:

	Your parents, who won’t give you any freedom
	Your friends, who always want to do the same thing
	Your crummy town, which is truly the Land Time Forgot
	Your allowance, which doesn’t allow for anything more exciting than a discount Tuesday movie and red licorice.

As we said earlier, your parents and your friends, or maybe your teacher might be perfectly happy with the fact that you don’t seem to be doing much that’s new (and therefore nothing that’s new and bad.) but they’re not the ones who are keeping you in your advanced state of boredom. That responsibility belongs to YOU!

Why do you lock yourself up in these chains

No one can change your life except you

- Wilson Phillips

Imagine yourself in the following situation:

It’s a hot day. You’ve been lying by the side of the pool for hours. You kind of dozed off there for awhile. When you wake up, you’re dizzy, queasy and wanting nothing more than to be submerged in that cool, blue body of water several steps and a single splash away. So you stagger to your feet, weave your way to the edge of the water… and you just stand there. Because as much as you want to get out of the heat, you’re not too keen to endure the second or so of cold you’ll feel as your body drags your dazed mind into where-you-really-want-to-be.

The point is that getting from the place or state of mind where you are to where you want to be… is going to involve a certain amount of distress. You’re not going to get un-bored without becoming a bit uncomfortable. For one thing, you’re going to have to tell your parents, and your friends what you’re up to and why, and the explanations won’t be easy, because at this point you won’t really know much about what you’re getting into. All you’ll know is that you’ve made a decision to make some changes in your life.

Into the great wide open
Under the skies of blue
Into the great wide open
A rebel without a clue

- Tom Petty

If you’re bored but too scared or lazy or unimaginative to bring on some changes in your life, you can do what a lot of kids do. You can take the easy way out. Instead of taking a chance on something new and interesting you can latch onto something old and familiar. Like: most people who turn up with drug and alcohol problems have travelled along the route of boredom to get there. Booze and drugs are easy. If you can bend your elbow, swallow or snort, you can change your boring situation pretty radically and fairly quickly. It’s expensive though… and not just in terms of money. Most of us know people who have paid a heavy price by counting on different substances to increase the "kick: quotient. The worst of it is that in the long run drugs and alcohol seem to create a boredom much deeper than what you may be feeling now. Right now you’re thinking that what would really be boring would be another lecture on alcohol and drugs, so we don’t have anything more to say about that, but we will repeat that finding a new interest and something to really get excited about doesn’t just happen. You have to make it happen!

"I’d like to try that sometime."

Well, why not now? If you really think about it, there’s got to be something you’re curious about. Something you’d like to be able to do or a situation you’d like to find yourself in. Think about it a little more, and it will probably even seem possible… with just a little work and the courage to give up some of the sure (but boring) things you’ve got going for you. Don’t try to find reasons why your fresh idea is really a bad idea or tell yourself that what sounds interesting enough now will probably turn out to be just as boring later on. Look at it this way: if you’re feeling nervous and uncomfortable with the decision you’ve made to change the situation you’re in, at least things are getting interesting right?

Consider an imaginary bored teenager we’ll call John. (Rhymes with yawn.)

John does okay in school but doesn’t like it much. John’s cool, his friends are part of the "in" crowd. He’s good at sports.

"The only thing worse than being bored is being boring."

Gets along with his parents. The only downside is that John is bored out of his mind. In a way this is the toughest kind of boredom to deal with. The kind that hits you just when everyone is saying you’re doing good: you’ve got it made. But somehow, it just isn’t working for you. You probably have some distant idea of some new interest you’d like to try, but there’s a risk. And there’s an audience. Everyone will be watching to see if you can pull the new thing off. And if you can’t, you’ll be less in control than they thought you were. Well, if you’re really afraid to risk the blah you’ve got now for something different and maybe better, you’ve got a bigger problem than becoming bored. You’ve got the problem of becoming boring.

It’s like you’re back at the side of that pool. You can tell yourself that the water will be too cold, or you can lean gently into the uncertainty of it all and … wow! That big chill turns out to be a big thrill.

Bored No More

Let’s go back to the beginning and take another look at those excuses for being bored and try to see how they stand up in the light of a real desire to change your present state of mind and matter for something a bit more intense.

"There’s nothing to do."

This excuse is completely bogus. What "There’s nothing to do" translates into is, " There’s nothing I’ve got the guts to try because I’m afraid of being embarrassed if it doesn’t work out."

"You can expect the trip from being bored to being interested to be a little uncomfortable."

"There’s no one to do it with."

It’s very likely that someone in your group is also keen to sample something different. They’re just shy about saying no. As long as someone has to speak up and say, "guys, we’re in a rut," why not you?

"There’s nothing interesting to do."

Nothing is interesting until you know something about it. Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.

"There’s no one interesting to do it with."

You can’t know how interesting someone might be until you join them in the face of a new challenge. If you’re bored with your situation and your friends, try changing your situation first.

"There’s too much to do."

This is one of the last excuses teens use an done of the first real reasons for being bored. The fact is that it’s easier to think of something new to do than it is to choose something from a lot of options. Getting un-bored means selecting and committing yourself to some (one or two) changes and you may wonder if you’re making the right commitment. (Don’t worry, there’s no one right thing to try.)

You’re Not Alone

Try to remember that boredom is a common teenage complaint and if you do decide to act on your own and do something positive about it, you’ll probably find lots of people lining up to share your new interest and tell you what an exciting person you’ve turned out to be.