By Allison Johnson, M.Ed., Program Consultant
AADAC Youth Services Centre - Calgary

"She sure takes after her dad!" As a parent, you have probably heard comments like this from friends and family. Children are mirrors of their parents in so many ways. They do what they see...what their parents do. When it comes to teaching your kids about alcohol and other drugs, what you do directly influences what your children learn.

Like adults, kids try to make sense of everything they encounter. Kids can form clear, if unsophisticated, opinions about alcohol and other drugs well before they enter school. They may learn that alcohol is something that only mommy or daddy can drink. They can often tell a beer bottle from a juice bottle long before they can describe the difference in words. When one parent is an alcoholic, children find it hard to predict mom or dad's behaviour. The kinds of alcohol and drug using behaviours that children are exposed to today will form the foundation of their own use as adults.

Since you can't completely isolate your children from messages that promote alcohol and other drug use, it's critical to model the kinds of behaviours you want your children to adopt. Here are a few suggestions:

• Carefully examine your own alcohol and drug using behaviour. Write down how many drinks, cigarettes, over-the-counter and prescription medications, or other drugs you use in a week. Pay attention to how often your child is present when you are using these substances. Are you comfortable with what your kids are seeing? If not, what, if anything, can you quit using or cut down on?

• Question the necessity of always using medication for minor physical complaints. Help your child do the same. Lying down is often as good as taking a pain killer for a mild headache.

• How you respond to "can I have a taste of your drink?" really depends on you and your beliefs. Many cultures permit children to drink alcohol in family settings or at religious functions. These cultures, however, tend to have strict, unwritten rules about alcohol use. Unless allowing children to drink is a normal part of your cultural background, it's probably best to say no.

• Help your children make sense of the conflicting messages they get about alcohol and other drugs. Try not to be a source of those conflicting messages!

• Learn what you can about alcohol and other drug use. Keep talking with your kids about all sensitive issues, and they will be more likely to ask you for advice before they ask their friends.

Drug use is so ingrained in our society we often do not think twice about having a drink or popping an aspirin. While you probably do use alcohol and other drugs responsibly, it does not hurt to step back occasionally and look at your behaviour. After all, someone is taking after you!

[First printed in Family Zoo magazine, January/February, 1997].