By Allison Johnson, M.Ed., Program Consultant
AADAC Youth Services Centre - Calgary

I was representing AADAC at a community resource fair awhile ago when a father approached and began scanning some of our materials on youth and drugs. We chatted for a bit about how terrible it is that some kids develop addiction problems, and how drug problems can sneak up on a family Shaking his head, he smiled and said, "well, my daughter's ten, and she's already said that she'll never, ever try drugs. At least that's one problem I won't have to worry about." I pressed some information into his hand and replied, "well, I hope she still feels that way when she's twelve, and fifteen, and seventeen." He gave me an uncertain look, muttered "me too," and walked away to another booth.

No parent wants to believe that their own children are vulnerable to substance abuse. Often, parents feel unsure about how to raise the topic, fearing their own lack of knowledge or feeling uncertain of their ability to have an impact on their children. Parents do, however, have a critical role to play in preventing their children from becoming involved with drugs. As intimidating as that may sound, there are several ways to give your children the right kinds of messages about drug use, and, surprisingly, many of them are part of basic, everyday parenting. Here are some things you can do:

• Take a good look at your own use of medical and non-medical drugs. Your drug using behaviour exerts a powerful influence on your children, even if you believe they are too young to understand. Parents who frequently use non-medical drugs such as alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine, as well as illicit drugs, are sending the message that drug use is an important way to manage day to day life. (An exception to this is when alcohol is used in a well-defined religious or cultural context.) Unnecessary use of medical drugs also sends the wrong message. Ask yourself: Am I showing my children the behaviours I want them to copy when they get older? If I'm not, then how can I change my drug using behaviour?

• Prepare yourself to talk with your kids, at an age-appropriate level, about drug use. Seek out opportunities to raise the topic yourself, such as while watching TV with your child or when you're both involved in a family activity. It's never too early to start a dialogue. A young child can benefit from discussions about what medicine is and why they should never take it without a trusted adult's permission and supervision. An older child may want to know more specifically about cigarettes, alcohol, and some illicit drugs. A teen may be mainly curious about illicit drugs. AADAC can help you with information about mood altering chemicals and ways to approach the topic. Remember, you don't have to be an expert to talk meaningfully with your child about drugs.

• Resist the urge to lecture, and be prepared to hear your kids out. By keeping the lines of communication open, your kids should feel as if they can approach you for advice about most difficult issues. While you may hear things that you'd rather not, at least your kids are asking you instead of an unknown and possibly unreliable source!

• Help your kids understand that patience and working for a goal is usually more satisfying in the long run than quick rewards. Popular culture glamorizes instant, effortless gratification, and mood altering drugs promise fast fulfillment. Parents can help to counteract these unrealistic "quick fix" messages by modelling their own ability to work hard toward goals.

• Have a disciplinary style that is firm and consistent, but not autocratic. Kids need boundaries that are neither too rigid nor too loose. While home factors are only one facet of a child's drug problem, kids with problems often come from families where the discipline is either extremely restrictive or extremely permissive.

• Don't be afraid to ask others for advice. Unfortunately, kids don't arrive with instruction manuals! Asking for help when you're at a loss is a feature of excellent parenting, not a sign of failure. AADAC is one resource for families that is available throughout Alberta.

The reassuring fact is that most kids grow up without developing substance abuse problems. However, if you know -- or your gut tells you -- there may be a problem, don't hesitate to call your local AADAC office or helping agency in your area. AADAC has staff in twenty-six offices throughout Alberta, including two specialized centres in Edmonton and Calgary that can help you to ease your mind and identify courses of action.

[First printed in Alberta Parent Quarterly, Winter 1996 issue.]